Viewing entries tagged
freedom
I think we do want someone who will love us just the way that we are. But we also need someone who loves us enough to help us grow and mature as well. So instead of asking, “Will this person fit into my life and not change me?” maybe there are some better questions we need to ask.
Today, the question of identity is bigger than it’s ever been. ‘Who am I?’ isn’t just a question for philosophers. It’s asked by the middle-school student trying to navigate the hierarchy of groups and friendships. It’s asked by the teenager as they experience their first feelings of romance and attraction. It’s asked by the young adult confronted with a myriad of choices for career and lifestyle. It’s asked by the person in midlife who’s struggling with the gap between their dreams and their reality. It’s asked by the person who retires and is trying to understand where they fit without the identity of their career. And it’s asked by the person who’s nearing death and wonders whether their identity still has significance in the face of the brevity of life. Who are you? And how can you know whether your approach to understanding your identity will help or hinder you as you go through life? Let me compare three options.
Will the church’s response to marijuana follow the same path as its response to wine and alcohol?
While guilt can be a clear-cut response to something specific we’ve done, shame is often a vague attack on our identity and value. And we don’t just feel shame over bad things we’ve done but we’re also affected with shame at the circumstances we experience. That’s why abuse and trauma are often accompanied by shame. And also why just asking for forgiveness doesn’t take it away.
This week, GraceAnna Castleberry made waves with her article on “The Dior Woman and True Freedom.” She was commenting on the new commercial from perfume maker Christian Dior. In it, Natalie Portman stars as a runaway bride, who abandons the altar, casts off her white wedding dress, and runs in a black cocktail dress to a nearby cliff where a handsome man is waiting in a helicopter to fly her into the sunset and the “freedom” she craves. The clip is just over a minute long and so we’re left to interpret the details, but Castleberry has a healthy suspicion of its message. She says this:
“Have we really reached a point where freedom is portrayed by such petty play things like a little black dress, a helicopter ride, and a man to kiss but not commit to? Is freedom merely the absence of responsibility? If that’s the definition of freedom, I don’t want it. It has such an achy hollow feel it hurts.”
Two weeks ago I began to talk about our Learning Centre discussion on the “no strings attached” (N.S.A.) approach to relationships that North Americans are characterized by. I shared that sociologists summarize the Canadian mind-set as being typified by low trust, low obligation and high freedom. These qualities are not just unbiblical but extremely unhealthy because:
Given the emphases of our culture, it’s not surprising to me that baptism has become less and less popular in the church – and yet I’m convinced that it’s one of the things God has designed to bring healing to our N.S.A. issues. When was the last time you thought about baptism?
Earlier this fall, I shared in the Learning Centre about one of the things I learned about Canadian culture when I went to Japan. I didn’t realize until I left my own culture that the Canadian approach to relationships is known by sociologists and others by the acronym N.S.A. That doesn’t refer to the National Security Agency but the “no strings attached” style of relationships that Canadians and Americans have become known for. We’re considered friendly and informal, but as one sociologist described, they “always think everyone is their friend. But they don’t trust anyone.” Or someone described the mindset as, “relationships should be something that exist for the sheer enjoyment of them – not something to which you’re obliged.” Or another person has said, “Our friendships are based on freedom to come and go as we please.”
