If you’re a Christian parent, at some point, church will probably be a challenge for you and your kids. It was for me, and yet in retrospect, those challenges blessed our kids and our family, and I’m grateful for them. Let me share some of the lessons we learned when church was hard.

Friendships can either make learning attractive or they can derail a child’s motivation altogether. Friendships are where a child learns how to relate to others and works at practicing patience, forgiveness, kindness, and compassion. Most parents talk to their kids about grades. I’m convinced we need to talk to them at least as much about relationships. Here are four conversations I think parents and children need to have.

What’s ironic is that you tell yourself you’re making these sacrifices for your child, but the tension in your relationship is actually adding stress to your parenting and anxiety to your children.

Children who are born innocent don’t need God. They don’t need a God to teach them, a Saviour to rescue them, the Spirit to empower them, or the Bible to guide them. They just need everyone to get out of the way and let them be true to themselves. But the Bible says the opposite.

When you leave your own culture, you learn things about it. One of the things that I learned about Canadian culture when I moved to Japan is that we don’t seem to place a high value on wisdom. In Canada, we work hard at helping our children learn skills with lots of after-school clubs and activities, but in Japan, proverbs still have a significant place in a child’s development. In kindergarten, our children started learning Japanese proverbs along with the other kids. There are lots of well-made comic books that introduce them to age-old truisms that are recognized across society. In elementary school, children are formally taught proverbs and even tested on them. As a result, children grow with a sense that older generations possess wisdom about how life can be navigated effectively.

As a Christian parent, the greatest desire should be to see your child trust in Christ. But how do you do that? And how do you know what is happening in your child’s faith?

Last time I talked about the importance of learning Proverbs with your children. The problem remains though: how do you teach them? Because there are thirty-one chapters, many advocate reading a chapter every day of the month. There’s probably value in that practice, but with younger children, I’m convinced that less is more. Let me share a few of the things that helped us.

Over the years, we’ve done many different things for family devotions. But learning verses from the Book of Proverbs has been a highlight. I think Proverbs has had the biggest impact of any book of the Bible in helping my parenting and shaping our family’s character. Let me share what I’ve learned about why learning Proverbs with your kids is so helpful.

I was on a road trip with my two sons and something they said led me to share a very personal story. I went into detail about what happened, what I’d learned, and how it had such an impact on me. As I came to the end, I looked over at my sons, half-hoping to see wide-eyed expression of wonder and awe. They were both fast asleep! Communicating with children is hard. Let me share some tips from the Bible about how to speak in a way that reaches your child.

What do you do when your child has disobeyed you or broken your rules? The temptation is to play the part of a sentencing judge. Lying to your sister? Go to your room! Stayed out too late? You’re grounded. If all we do is hand out sentences and demand obedience, there is no good news in our parenting.