On Sunday, we hosted the second in our two-part parenting seminar with Paul Tripp. He helped us deal with what he felt was the biggest weakness in Christian parenting – dealing with the surface rather than the substance. He said that he often hears from parents about children who have gone off to university and leave the faith. Often, he felt, they hadn’t left the faith at all. What had happened was that children with a veneer of Christianity had stepped out from under their parents’ tight control and demonstrated that their faith really didn’t go beyond mere parental compliance. This, he sees, is the common product of parenting that aims to regulate behaviour without reaching the heart. Let me explain.
Two weeks ago, we hosted the first of a two-part parenting seminar with Paul David Tripp. It differed from many talks and books on parenting in that it wasn’t particularly prescriptive. While it was incredibly practical, it didn’t aim to give a list of tips: “In this situation, do this.” Instead, it gave a holistic mindset for parenting by which parenting strategies can be better evaluated and incorporated. It helped parents lost in the trees, catch a glimpse of the forest. Three highlights stand out.
On Sunday October 15 and 29 from 2 to 5 pm (not October 14 as announced earlier), Grace Baptist Church is hosting a 2-part parenting live stream seminar with Paul David Tripp.. I hope you'll make time for this important opportunity. In order to introduce the speaker, today's post features him again as a guest contributor, introducing the principles of his book. In our parenting seminar, he'll be covering the first four topics.
On Sunday October 14 and 29 from 2 to 5 pm, Grace Baptist Church is hosting a 2-part parenting live stream seminar with Paul David Tripp.. I hope you'll make time for this important opportunity.. In order to introduce the speaker, today's post features him as a guest contributor..
In 1997, I wrote my first book, Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens. I felt God calling me to write more books, but I was equally as persuaded that Age of Opportunity would be my only one on the topic of parenting. But for the past two decades, as I saw how people were using that book (and my brother Tedd’s book Shepherding a Child's Heart), I grew increasingly uncomfortable. Something was missing in the way these parents were interpreting and applying the strategies detailed in the pages of our books. It took me a while to figure out what was off. Then it hit me: the missing piece was the gospel. It sounds obvious, almost cliché, but it’s more significant in our lives than we realize.
The challenges of parenting start early. Most birth stories sound like thrillers, filled with tension, jump scenes, and a piercing soundtrack. After the birth, you have to cope with sleep deprivation and the emotional and often inexplicable crying. The excitement of early accomplishments like crawling, walking, and the first words are often offset by worries of whether those milestones are late, slow, or somehow signals of disadvantage compared to peers or your most vocal relative’s memory of when these things are supposed to happen. And then comes one of the biggest challenges of all: the first time your child responds with a defiant, “No!” What do you do when your child rejects your authority and crosses the line you’ve told them not to cross? Let’s look at two common options and a third alternative that the Bible gives.
Did you hear the news? Alec and Hilaria Baldwin’s 6-year-old son, Rafael, took a key and scratched his name into the side of their car. Don’t worry, though, according to mom he was “super tough” on himself after it happened, so I’m sure it won’t happen again. I don’t have a bone to pick with the Baldwins’ parenting decisions and certainly not little Rafael. If I were to broadcast some of my early parenting exploits to millions of followers in real-time, I would be embarrassed about plenty of the things that I had done and not done. I do think that Hilaria has powerfully articulated one of the prevailing North American approaches to parental authority, however, and I think that it’s worth comparing with the Bible’s approach.
One of my summer projects is a review of first year Greek in preparation for a second year Greek course I need to take in the fall. The problem with the ‘review’ is that the first time I studied Greek was close to twenty years ago and so it pretty much feels like I’m starting from scratch. The textbook I’m using was written by John Gresham Machen, the founder of Westminster Seminary, and originally published in 1923. Reading about Machen’s life recently, I was moved by the profound impact that his mother had on him, and the crucial parenting principles she embodies.
We watched some home videos last week as a family. They reminded me of the dizzying, early years of our parenting. There were lots of smiles and laughter but it looked exhausting as well. Where did we find the energy? Dangers to watch out for, behaviours to correct, attention to be given, warriors to wrestle – parenting can be an all-consuming task. It made me think back on the many years of parenting that has passed since that time. If I could pick two words that have made the most difference for me as a parent, I’d choose the words “resolve” and “heart.” Let me explain.
Most children learn to ride a bicycle by starting with training wheels. If we’re honest, training wheels look a little goofy. Riding with them is clunky at first. And no child wants to be hanging out with their teenage friends with the training wheels still on. But figuring out everything about riding a bike all at once is often too difficult for a child. The training wheels focus the adjustment and help the child get used to the mechanics of steering and pushing the pedals. After they’ve mastered this, they can focus more on balance. With the training wheels off and the basics figured out, a child might even try out some tricks. Starting with the tricks and ignoring the training wheels is a recipe for disaster, though. I think the same is true of parenting. I’m grateful for the advice I was given about paying attention to the various stages of parenting and what to focus on when. Let me share what I feel are the two most important areas to try and get right.
Wisdom doesn’t just sit on the side of the fence that feels most natural. It maintains a biblical balance especially where it confronts our blind spots. David Murray helps describe this tension: “Patient waiting doesn’t excuse us from teaching, correction, discipline, exhortation, etc., but it does save us from exasperation, exhaustion, and expiration.”
