Viewing entries tagged
single
When it comes to dating, our instincts – even if you’re a Christian – are often influenced more by Love Island and The Bachelorette than anything Jesus ever said. Jesus gave two foundational principles to navigate all of life and they provide a roadmap for approaching areas, like dating, that hadn’t even been developed when He walked the earth.
We often assume that somebody that pretty or that successful couldn’t be lonely. It’s like we assume loneliness is the penalty that you get for not measuring up in the game of life. Not only is that not true, but it adds the weight of condemnation to the pain of loneliness itself. Loneliness affects just about everyone at different points in their life, but it comes in different forms. Consider the 4 voices of loneliness and how you can answer them.
In 2006, for the first time since national census records were first reported in 1871, unmarried adults in Canada outnumbered the number of married adults. Ironically, this was just one year after Canada passed the law, legalizing same-sex marriage. More people than ever could legally marry, but fewer people than ever did. Obviously, it was a sign of a cultural shift. And over the last decade, the trend has only continued. More people delay marriage for education and careers. Increasing work demands make it more difficult to find time to meet people. The rise in divorce means that more people who were married now no longer are. And more and more people who have been hurt by divorce have a cynicism about the value or relevance of marriage. Given these new dynamics, I’m grateful that thoughtful Christians are doing research and addressing these trends with biblical solutions. This spring, Crossway Publishing released the results of a 7000-person survey on singleness and dating as part of a book release for Marshall Segal’s, “Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness & Dating,” and the results are worth considering.
On Sunday we looked at some of the gender implications of Genesis 2:18, the verse that says, “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” But there were many questions that time did not permit me to answer. Some people assume that the verse is a call to marriage. And Genesis surely does recommend marriage. But Jesus was never married. Did Jesus miss reading Genesis 2:18? Did He believe that “it’s not good for man to be alone?” Was Jesus “not good” in some way because He was single? The answer to those questions sheds important light on what this verse does and doesn’t teach.
The church has often been accused of being all about families and not about singles. I think the criticism is well taken. “Focus on the Family” is not only the name of an organization but it could also be used to describe many churches. I remember a Japanese pastor seeking my advice as to whether a single man he was mentoring could be considered for the ministry even though he wasn’t married. I responded with a strong “Yes,” but instead of just pointing to Jesus and the apostle Paul as justification, I pointed to the growing number of single adults in our society and the unique challenges they face. In the early 2000’s, adult single people outnumbered married people for the first time in Canada. And the temptations are greater than ever. That’s why I was glad to see the article by Tyler Velin entitled “Don’t Waste Your Singleness.” While the title sounds a little preachy, the principles he highlights are important.
