Different versions of the following quote are attributed to Henri Nouwen. “We are not what we do, we are not what we have, we are not what others think of us. Coming home is claiming the truth: I am the beloved child of a loving creator.” After almost two decades as a celebrated professor at universities like Yale and Harvard, he went to work with individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities. It was only natural that he thought deeply about identity. I want to consider what we need to learn from this statement, what we need to clarify, and what’s wrong with the popular alternative to it.
Today, the question of identity is bigger than it’s ever been. ‘Who am I?’ isn’t just a question for philosophers. It’s asked by the middle-school student trying to navigate the hierarchy of groups and friendships. It’s asked by the teenager as they experience their first feelings of romance and attraction. It’s asked by the young adult confronted with a myriad of choices for career and lifestyle. It’s asked by the person in midlife who’s struggling with the gap between their dreams and their reality. It’s asked by the person who retires and is trying to understand where they fit without the identity of their career. And it’s asked by the person who’s nearing death and wonders whether their identity still has significance in the face of the brevity of life. Who are you? And how can you know whether your approach to understanding your identity will help or hinder you as you go through life? Let me compare three options.
I watched the 80’s throwback movie “Blinded by the Light” recently, and not being a Bruce Springsteen fan, it was mostly the non-Boss music that made me reminisce. Hearing the Pet Shop Boys took me back to my high school days and the music that was so much a part of my life at a time of life when music seems so important. One song that stood out to me was “It’s a Sin,” the second hit from the Pet Shop Boys after their debut single, “West End Girls.” As I listened to the chorus, it struck me that I remembered more of the melody than the lyrics. I think I spent more time dancing to the song than actually listening to its message. Now, so many years later, I read the lyrics of lead singer Neil Tennant and reflected on them with sadness and regret. His words give voice to many people’s experience of religion, so even if you’ve never heard of the band, you may relate to their message.
Have you ever heard Christians talking about predestination and wanted to object that they were only telling half of the story? Ever read that God chooses to save some people and not others and wanted to point the person to some verses they hadn’t considered? Do you find that people’s explanation of election doesn’t do justice to how you understand God’s working in the Bible? Let’s consider some of those verses together.
Have you ever thought about why you believed in Jesus when so many others don’t? Were you smarter? More spiritual? Were you just born in the right family or did you just meet the right friend? Was it luck, or was it something deeper at work? If you believe in Jesus, consider how the Bible says that took place.
