Different versions of the following quote are attributed to Henri Nouwen. “We are not what we do, we are not what we have, we are not what others think of us. Coming home is claiming the truth: I am the beloved child of a loving creator.” After almost two decades as a celebrated professor at universities like Yale and Harvard, he went to work with individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities. It was only natural that he thought deeply about identity. I want to consider what we need to learn from this statement, what we need to clarify, and what’s wrong with the popular alternative to it.