If you can smile and make conversation on a Sunday morning and are willing to volunteer to help, chances are someone will eventually ask you to lead. How do you know if you’re ready? Just smiling and putting up your hand surely aren’t the qualifications. Then again, a Christian is someone who admits that they’re a sinner in need of God’s grace, so you probably don’t have to be perfect to be a Christian leader. In the case of an elder, the lines are drawn pretty clearly in Scripture. We looked last time at the first of those qualifications: integrity. Today, let’s consider self-control from 3 different angles.
1. Can you control your alcohol?
A person’s relationship to alcohol doesn’t usually come up in Sunday morning conversations, but Paul brings it up consistently when he discusses the qualifications for Christian leaders. A Christian leader doesn’t have to give up alcohol, but he can’t be controlled by it. He can’t have a reputation for it. He warns not to appoint someone as an elder who is a “drunkard” (1 Timothy 3:3; Titus 1:7) and calls instead for them to be “sober-minded” (1 Timothy 3:2). This would rule out drugs as well, obviously. But it’s not just an abstract rule. Alcohol invites us to escape from the pressures of our lives by giving up control and coming under alcohol’s influence. The gospel offers a completely different hope. God promises a new life that drunkenness can only temporarily counterfeit. Christians are to submit their lives to the Spirit’s influence (Ephesians 5:18) who brings joy (Galatians 5:22) but also self-control (Galatians 5:23). A Christian who hasn’t yet seen the false hope that drunkenness promises isn’t ready to lead others.
2. Can you control your greed?
Unfortunately, alcohol isn’t the only thing that makes false promises. Money can be just as intoxicating. Paul says that an elder can’t be “a lover of money” (1 Timothy 3:3) and warns against those who are “greedy for gain” (Titus 1:7). There are plenty of celebrity pastors whose love of money has shipwrecked ministries and caused harm to the church’s reputation. But greed can be far more subtle than that. Jesus taught “blessed are you who are poor” (Luke 6:20) and modeled a ministry of less that emphasized contentment, gratefulness, and generosity. As the hymn goes, “the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.” Does your stuff own you? Does money feel like a mistress? Do you obsess over how much you have (or don’t have)? Confronting your greed is a prerequisite for leading God’s people.
3. Can you control yourself?
Alcohol and money are common pitfalls for people, but it would be easier if they were the only areas where we needed to control our urges. Unfortunately, they’re just two examples. More generally, Paul requires that elders be “self-controlled” (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:8) and “disciplined” (Titus 1:8). These words broaden the scope. Things like gluttony, laziness, and pornography need to be confronted. We need to be disciplined with our words, our sleep, and our time. Jesus taught that “one who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much” (Luke 16:10), and so learning to exercise self-control in the daily, mundane areas of our life is part of what it means to grow and mature. It’s this process that’s an essential preparation for leadership.
Discipline and self-control relate to areas of our lives that most people don’t ordinarily see. They’re at the heart of our private lives but it’s here that our faith is to get worked out. Would the people who know you characterize you as disciplined? Are there areas where you need to turn over control in order to grow in self-control? The Bible promises that “self-control” is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:23). That means that it’s something that God, Himself, develops within us as we submit to Him in faith. Seek Him for it as you invite His control in those areas of your life where you feel your need of it. But if the weeds go deep and aren’t easily uprooted, confide in a Christian friend so it’s no longer a private battle. Often, it’s a brother or sister in Christ whom God uses to strengthen our self-control in areas where it’s lacking.
In awe of Him,
Paul